Thursday, November 12, 2015

Dani Boo and The Weird

I think my coworker, Dani Boo (so called because she told me she hates the nicknames "Dani" and "Boo", so I thought I'd combine them together to create a nickname she would love even more. I'm also the only one she allows to call her this. I think it's because she secretly likes it. Even if she won't admit it.) is figuring out how weird I am (and no, the nickname thing is not weird). 

You know how when you meet new people, especially new coworkers, you try to act "normal" and all that crazy stuff. Well, that's what I had been trying to do, but when you work with a person you spend more time with them then you do your actual family, so you can't hide it forever. Well at least I couldn't.

I know the exact moment she discovered I was slightly more strange in nature than your normal person. Not your average bean (is that even a saying?). 

It was months and months ago that Dani Boo was upset because she'd seen another coworker's Facebook opened on a computer and the person was talking crap about her with another coworker. Typical office drama.

So anyways, we were sitting next to each other and she had just gotten done venting to me about it in tears and I had gone about doing my own thing...typing away ferociously on my computer...on Facebook.

She looks over at me and yells, "YOU BETTER NOT BE TALKING CRAP ABOUT ME ON FACEBOOK!!"

Me, in utter shock, throw my hands up in a sign of surrender and cower away from her and say in a whisper, "I'm talking about renting goats on Amazon. I swear."

She was so taken aback, probably the last thing she thought would ever come out of my moth (or if i think about she probably expected that phrase to come out of anyone's mouth...ever) she was completely speechless and looked a little dumbfounded. I continued to hold my hands in the air and go on, "Apparently you can't just rent one to play with for the afternoon. You have to get a bunch and they have to come and assess your land and set up fences and they come and check on them every so often and stuff."

Dani Boo started shaking her head and laughing, "I love you, Luna."

That's when her eyes were truly opened to who I really am a person. Weird. Someone how instead of gossiping about a coworker, like normal women, likes to talk about renting goats via Amazon (and in case you were wondering I never was able to rent them because they are not available in my area) . It was the first, but it definitely not the last she would see this weird side of me. And most times they end with head shakes and eye rolls and not all "I love you, Luna's"

Here are some of the few examples of head shake worthy moments: 

There's the time I read her boyfriend's Heating and Air Conditioning textbook that she was trying to return. I told her I liked to read textbooks as a hobby and I was sad when she took the book away from me.

Or how I've been talking insistently about my new D&D character. I am Isteth of Kailasa (translation: Knowledge/Lore of the Silver Mountain) High Elf of the Grey Mountain. I've been telling her all my backstory and drawing character pictures and everything. I'm pretty sure I'm driving her crazy.

I also accidentally ordered mini post-it notes that she hates, so I doodle pictures on them and then give them to other coworkers as gifts. She has gotten quite a few of them and I haven't heard her complain...that much. Once she complemented me on one and I gave it to a coworker (WHO WAS SICK) and she got mad because she said she had wanted it.

I confessed to her that I had a taxidermy collection and then, after telling me how gross and disturbing it was that I even had a taxidermy collection, I brought them all in for show and tell. She'll deny it to your face and probably tell you she looks at me in a different light, but I know she liked Reggie the Puffer Fish (the one she was claiming was the weirdest only the day before) way more than she let on.

Also, along those lines, she was complaining about a wisdom tooth engagement ring that was going around the internet and I told her I would not mention how I was looking at eye ball rings the night before (not that I was going to buy it...I was just looking at it. Please. I'm weird, but not that weird). 

Or there was the time I was obsessed with the question "could you taste your tongue" and kept talking about it for days while sticking my tongue in and out of my mouth (I make that sound like it was a long time ago but maybe it just started this week. And if anyone can answer the question please let me know). 

So maybe I'm a little weird and maybe now you know a little bit more about me then you ever wanted to know, but 'm okay with it and that's all that matters.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Amazon Prime Day (Today!)

Mona: I will now be sending you a list of what I want you to order on amazon as special gifts for me for because it is Amazon day tomorrow!

Me: Wait? Amazon day?

Mona: It is like Cyber Monday!

Mona: But better!

Mona: It is for Prime!

Me: Oh! Really? Or are you just making this up, so I buy you stuff?

Mona: No joke

Me: Do they have the deals listed already or do we have to wait until tomorrow?

Mona: Not sure

Mona: That is all the info I know

Me: Then I think we have to wait until tomorrow to find out the sales.

Me: Remember all the good surprises I got you on black Friday!? I'm SO excited!

Mona: You need to try harder.

Me: I tried really hard last time!

Mona: No you didn't you just got yourself books!

I'm sorry I thought she would appreciate the entire Game of Thrones collection for $10! Or a replacement for my never returned Night Circus! I saw her read a book once!! Geez. 

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Why Am I Happy To See You!?! I Don't Even Like You!

Have you ever felt a happy nostalgic feeling over something that you once hated, only because it reminded you of something you hadn't even realized you had forgotten in the first place? Because at that very moment you remembered the good old days of torture and terror with a smile and it instantly brightened your mood and gave you a weird "what is this" feeling? And you thought to yourself, "Why am I happy to see you!?! I don't even like you!

Well, I had such a moment the other day and it made me think of you...


That didn't come out quite right. I didn't mean to imply I don't like you.

Oh, you're crying?

I'm sorry...I really didn't mean it that way!

Ahhh, you've been feeling neglected and were already thinking I didn't like you because I haven't talked to you in such a long time.

I see...

(nervously pauses to feel utterly guilty over my neglect because I really do love you and didn't mean to forget about you, but I'm terribly lazy and forgetful and I have no real sense of time or commitment.)

...well, anyways, I had such a moment the other day because of My Homicidal Villain! Yes, yes, the crazy lady who tried to kill her husband by poison who really likes to give me hugs (You can find out more or reread all about My Homicidal Villain HERE)

So, I was running around work doing work stuff, when in saunters none other than My Homicidal Villain and her husband. Until that very moment I hadn't realized it had been months since I've seen either of them! (Boy, the things you don't know your missing!)

I gave them a huge smile, because I was genuinely, or morbidly (I haven't decided yet), happy to see them.

And, here's the real kicker of the story folks, when Mrs. H.V. walked up me I, yes I mean meopened my arms willing to give her a hug!

As I was going in for the hug it was like I was moving in slow motion. Internally I was screaming at my arms to stop. I looked down at my them like they had betrayed me; like they had been taken over by another being altogether, because the Luna LaBlue I know, would never in a million years initiate a hug with a homicidal villain.

Apparently...I know nothing about myself. 

Because I  hugged her and then I hugged the husband too.

They told me that they had been separated for the last few months (probably why I haven't seen them), but they just got back together and he has finally moved into her apartment.

I hesitantly said "oh, I'm happy to hear that?"  She said "Thanks! I am too!" very enthusiastically and he kinda shrugged his shoulders and scrunched up his face. I didn't know how to respond from there, so I very awkwardly said my goodbyes, they stood there awkwardly for another few minutes, and then all went our separate ways.

This encounter, like I mentioned previously, despite betraying myself by hugging them openly, left me feeling happy that I saw them. Unlike so long ago when I dreaded the mere mention of them. Seeing them now, after so long an absence, got me to thinking about when they would come in all the time and how uncomfortable that was and how I would literally hide under my desk to avoid them and how I would write about them in my blog and how I used to write in my blog all the time and how I should start writing in my blog again and then that lead to me actually writing in my blog and now that has lead to you actually sitting here reading my blog.

Think about that for a minute...

You are here right now reading this all because of a crazy lady, my crazy lady, my Homicidal Villain and her husband walking back into my life. 

And that kinda makes you a little happy too...doesn't it? 

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

#NewDay 5: Robotics


Sure, it may have just been out of a little kit, but it is freaking exciting! Sorry my nerd is showing.

Robotics has been my topic of study as of late, I've been reading up about them on the internet and watching some Ted Talks on Robotics on Netflix (which I highly recommend), but I've never actually tired to build one before!

The only problem right now is the fact that I don't know if he actually works. Yet.

You see he's a SOLAR POWERED robot and the thing is right now work kinda steals all my sunshine throughout the week. I go to work and it's dark and I leave work and the sun is already setting on the horizon. Not so conducive to running solar powered robots.

You don't know how depressing it is to need the sun and not have it.

I was gonna go home on lunch today and try to run it in the -10 degree sunny weather, but then Becky wanted me to go eat Mexican food with her instead. I told her she was thwarting my plans to bring about world domination. Because of course I plan on taking over the world with my army of deadly robots. This tiny robot is obviously just my first step.

Monday, January 5, 2015

Weekend Wrap-Up

This New Years resolution is hard.

What was I thinking?!? Trying to do one new thing each day?!

It's really hard to think of new things to do. Especially when you are a creature of habit and really super lazy.

Mona really doesn't think I'll make it. She keeps telling me with her sarcastic voice and pity face, "You can do anything you put your mind to". When she says you can do anything you put your mind to she's really saying, "you are never going to do this", "let's set some realistic goals", and "don't quit your day job."

Real supportive that one.

I'm only going to keep going to spite her.

Watermelon Surprise
#NewDay 2

I went out Friday night with a friend and I told the Barkeep to surprise me with a girly fruity drink.  I don't go for the surprise drink especially of the girly fruity variety. And let me tell you, this drink did not change my mind about that.

It tasted, and looked, like a Watermelon Jolly Rancher. While I like Watermelon Jolly Ranchers, having it as a drink is a little overpoweringly sweet. It's definitely not something I would have ever ordered on my own, but it was worth the try and I finished the whole thing. Plus, now I know I don't like it.

#NewDay 3

I almost gave up on day 3. 

I was super super lazy. It was a Saturday. I had the apartment to myself, and living with three other girls, it's very rare to have the apartment to yourself for a whole day. I didn't want to do anything. 

It was around seven at night I still hadn't done anything. Not even gotten ready for the day. But I needed to leave the house. I needed food and a hairdryer (mine decided it only wants to work halftime. Leaving me with freezing hair in the winter...not good). 

I was just gonna skip it. I could order delivery and go with wet hair. Putting on real pants and makeup just seemed like too much work. 

Weird fact about me: I never leave the house without jeans/dress pants and makeup. 

Then I thought to myself, "Wait a minute! I NEVER leave the house without real pants and makeup!" 

Time to try something new!

I was going to brave the shopping world barefaced and in sweatpants!

So, I just got up and left. 

It was freeing and empowering experience. Although it wasn't empowering enough for me to take lasting photo proof. I sent Mona a Snapchat that would be gone from evidence within five seconds, just to prove to her I did something new for the day so she couldn't give me crap, but that's it.  

Honestly, I don't know why I've never gone out of the house like this before. It's not like a wear an overpowering amount of makeup or always have to be dressed to the nines. I guess I just feel like a slob walking around in my pajama's and not getting my washing and prepping my face for the day.  

But it was nice. I might do this one more often. 

#NewDay 4

"I got that red lip classic thing that you like" 

Speaking of makeup. It was on my mind when I was out shopping without it. 

While I always wear makeup out of the house, it's not a crazy lot of makeup. I try to keep it very natural. I don't like to draw a lot of attention to myself. Attention tends to make me uncomfortable. Yes, I'm a little awkward and weird. Don't mind me. 

But this whole new branching out and trying new things thing got me thinking why not go a little bold and crazy. Go on. So I bought some red lipstick. It seems to really work for T. Swift. 

It think it worked for me too. I got a lot of complements like: 

"You look 'really' really nice. Like more than usual" 

"Sexy babe"

"You're going to attract all of the men

"Your face looks better than mine!

"I could see you coming from across the room and I love it",  

and my personal favorite:

"I was going to comment on your Instagram picutre, but I thought that would make you uncomfortable", 

That last one about sums me up when it comes to complements, but I think I'm keeping the lipstick. 

Friday, January 2, 2015

Happy New Year #NewDay 1


Welcome to the year 2015! The year of Back To The Future 2!

I know I've been a little bit missing in action as of late, but you know with the new year comes new goals and this year's number one goal is to start up blogging again! Lucky YOU!! (lucky me too, I've really missed it.) 

Also, as another goal, I've decided I'm going to try and live a little more glamorous, keep you on the edge of your seats lifestyle. Girl gone wild type stuff. And by "gone wild" I mean I'm just gonna try doing one new little thing each day this year, without giving up by February. (Mona doesn't think I can do it) 

It's not gonna be anything super big, but something to get me out of my comfort zone. Try something new. It will be educational. And I might find some new things I really like!

Yesterday, DAY 1, #NewDay 1, I watched stand up comedy on Netflix. I've never watched stand up before and I thought I might try it. See what I like. See if I even liked it.

What I discovered...

1. There is a lot of stand up comedy I do not like. Stand up can be really crude and it can also be really boring. Neither of which I like very much.

2. They all have surprising long intros to their videos. It's creepy. This one had a 20 minute introduction video to the stand up comedy portion. I ended up just fast forwarding over it it was so weird!

3. I like Keven Hart and John Mulaney. If you have any recommendations based on these two comedians (who are really very different) please let me know!


Wednesday, November 5, 2014


Talking on Facebook chat about the fear of getting questioned by the surveyors who give national accreditation to Healthcare Organizations at our place of employment.

Me: They literally just walked out the doors as I was walking in from lunch.

Me: I didn't make eye contact in case they changed their minds and wanted to ask more questions.

Becky: Lucky for you. I thought I was golden going to lunch at 11 but as soon as I clocked back in a 12 they were on my floor. 

Me: Now we've got another three years before we have to try to avoid them again.

Me: I would like that job.

Mom: You would? Check into it

Me: To be able to strike fear into people's hearts with just the mere knowledge I'm in the building.

Mom: Luna, you are horrible!

Me: What?!?

Me: It's called power, mother.

Mom: Okay...

Chat Conversation End